The Eighth Deadly Sin

Hi everyone. Usually I'm all fun and games, but right now I'm anything but. Why? Well, I just got back from the V-Dub (one of my favorite places in the world next to Tim Hortons, IHOP, and wherever a cool pint of Dublin Mudslide is) and let me tell you, this guy is not a happy camper. My friends Mike and Brady along with myself spent the better part of a half hour in search of a table with which to find refuge. Unfortunately, all of the tables were taken. I felt like the new girl in every teen comedy ever. "Don't sit there that's where the lacrosse kid sit". "Don't sit there, that's were the geeks sit! Do you want your social life ruined?". To ensure that no one else faces this travesty I'm going to impart a bit of advice. I'm only going to say it once so listen up.

SIT AT A TABLE COMPARABLE TO THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE YOU HAVE.

That's it. I know, I know girl with the orgo test. You absolutely have to have the table with sixteen seats, sit in the middle of it, spread your books out, and shoot a dirty look at anyone who sits with you. Guess what, toots? THERE ARE FUCKING PLENTY OF TWO PERSON SEATS NEAR THE DRINKS. Yes by the way, I mean you, girl with no friends who was sitting by herself at the 8 person table tonight. I'm sorry you don't have friends,really I am, BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE SIT SOMEWHERE CONVENIENT.

"But Sam," you may say, "why don't you just sit with them?" they are starving for a friend after all. Well let me give you a little sampler of me sitting down with these people in a real life, dinner conversation .

(Me) "Hi, anyone sitting here?"
(Them) [quietly with a look of despise] "No"
(Me) "Awesome! I'm Sam, by the way."
(Them) "Hi" [goes back to studying with a look of supreme irritation]
(Me) "Man o'man. The ravioli again, huh? When is the V-Dub going to get some real food?"
(Them) [Without looking up from book.] "Hmmmm..."
(Me) "So what are you concentrating in?"
(Them) [Eyeing my XC jacket.] "Engineering, and I'm guessing you are majoring in COE."
(Me) "Yeah... That's right! I'm sorry, I didn't get your name!"
(Them) "Oh really? I thought I had mentioned it."
(Me) "Well maybe you did! I just might have missed it!"
(Them) [Under breath.] "Shocker..."
(Me) "What?"
(Them) "Nothing." [Meal continues until the end in silence.]

I guess there were seats on the left side of the V-Dub, but do you know what it means to sit on that side? It means, frankly, I suck. Anyone who's anyone sits on the right side. So if you have no friends to sit with, for the love of god sit on the left side. It is actually the eighth deadly sin to waste a perfectly good V-Dub table. At least on the right side of V-Dub, cause that's where us cool kids get it done.If you think this is condescending you and your friends have obviously never been without a table. If you never eat with your friends, you might be the problem.