Counter/Plea for Readership And That Fucking Puppet

Well children, it's finally here. I decided that I have carried on and put enough effort into this blog, to convince myself that I won't grow tired of it and just stop writing in it. So today, I finally installed my little hit counter you may be able to see at the bottom. I didn't think my readership was significant enough to warrant it until now, but I am very excited to begin progress toward my endgoal with this blog. What goal is that you may ask?

Aside from serving as a much needed creative outlet and a way to keep my attention-whore cravings under control, the objective of this blog is for me to eventually have it become relevant and legitimate enough to help me attain some sort of employment or internship with one of the frontrunners in the internet's comedy community (College Humor, Cracked, The Onion, etc). With the hit counter I will have a concrete number to show potential employers and hopefully it will be and impressive one. I would be forever in your debt, dear readers, were you to take any of my posts that you find particularly funny or amusing and forward them on to your friends. I realize this is quite a bit of faith I'm putting in the word-of-mouth system, but hopefully it pans out and your help is very much appreciated. Now that I'm done begging, onward to the meat of this post.

When one finds themselves with a particularly large amount of time on their hands, as I often do, they tend spend that time working on something that they have always been self-conscious of. Though I have always greatly enjoyed music, until most recently, I always felt genuinely lost whenever someone brought up music and were discussing well known bands that I, quite frankly, had never heard of. As a result, my spare time (there is quite a bit of it) that is not devoted to this blog is mostly devoted to cultivating my Last Fm and Pandora. With fantastic music tools as these, I'm digging up all sorts of music and for the first time feel relatively in touch with the musical community.

Now, being a ravenous fan of Bloc Party, The Killers, and Coldplay, (I've already seen The Killers live, but would commit homicide for tickets to the former or latter.) Last Fm and Pandora had a tendency to recommend a band by the name of Interpol. Aside from their song PDA being featured on Rock Band 2, I had never heard of them before. I wasn't disappointed, but at the same time, wasn't impressed with what I heard.

As my musical tastes became more and more solidified in the eyes of Last Fm and Pandora, Interpol continued to make appearances as a listened to my radio stations. Last week I was giving Interpol's most popular song, Evil, a listen and something fell into place.

I was hooked. In the past week I've listened to the song 37 times, which I'll admit is a bit excessive. Here is where this story takes a tragic turn for the worse. I decide that since I'm so infatuated with the song, I must go on You Tube and search for the music video. Unfortunately, I found it and my life will never be the same again.

That is....without a doubt... the scariest fucking thing... that I have ever seen.... in my entire life....

WHAT THE FUCK, INTERPOL!?! When you went in for your first day of shooting, did you think, "Let's make the most terrifying puppet that this world has ever seen and have it dancing and singing. Like, I want this puppet stare into your soul."

Here is a good rule of thumb for puppet making. Puppets should not have fucking teeth... ever.

OH MY GOD! THROW THE CHILDREN AT IT! MAYBE THAT WILL BUY US TIME!

Alright, Interpol, it's time for you to take a lesson from the masters of the music industry, Coldplay. When they did their video for Life in Technicolor ii, they also used puppets. The difference here is that their music video doesn't haunt my dreams and make me cry blood. The first big thing they did is keep their puppets from looking like something Satan would give as a Christmas gift. Not creepy, you know?

Or at least considerably less creepy.

Notice how in their video, the audience recognizes that the puppets are acting strangely? Well that makes us feel more comfortable. Your insistence to have the emergency workers act like the puppet is not the most terrifying thing they will ever lay eyes on, makes it even more surreal and creepy than it needs to be.

I'm sorry for ,ringing this puppet into your lives America, but now we get to what I've been building to. I figured I'd try to create a way to desensitize people to the terrifying visage of this puppet. After a half hour on Face and Hole, the fruit of my labor was ripe. Ladies and Gentleman I give you the Cavalcade of Terrifying Puppet Face.

(Note: play this in the background as you scroll down.)

Beneath the Chuck Norris puppet face beard is another puppet face

Edward holding himself

I appear to have forgotten to replace Tobey Maguire in this one.

And I bet the women would still kill to bed him.

"I've come to stop you Joke...Wooaah! Nevermind, keep murdering innocents."

This looks strangely correct.

Man, Clooney looks younger.

HOLY SHIT! GIVE IT THE FUCKING RING!

I don't even know what to say about this.